Feeling Guilty

Hello readers I come to you tonight from my bed and a little sad. Tonight is Ben's showing of the play he has been working hard on with his drama group. Unfortunately I am to wobbly to attend. I have been off kilter all day but since this afternoon I can feel an attack brewing and did not want to risk the embarrassment it would cause to Ben should I go into full on attack mode in the middle of his play. He is not alone as Lee and Brad have gone over to support him. The Mr is under strict instructions to take lots of pictures and make videos of all the parts where Ben has lines. I am so disappointed that I can't be there with him. This is the aspect of my MD I hate the most when it effects my ability to be the mum I want to be. I do my best not to let the MD win and still take the boys out whenever I can and attend all of their events when I'm able but inevitably sometimes the MD wins and I have to concede defeat and just rest.

At the moment I am click clacking away with my knitting trying not to think about what I am missing. I believe there will be a thunder storm tonight as I often get like this when one is brewing. The weather is a major trigger for MD patients :(

Have you ever missed one of your children's events ? Did you feel as guilty as I do right now ?


Much Love
Claire xx xx xx