My Autistic Angels

As some of you may know 2 of my 3 children are autistic. They have it at various degrees one is at the top end of the spectrum meaning he has it quite severely and one is in the middle of the spectrum meaning he does not have it quite as badly as his big brother. Although autism has been made a lot more public in the last few years we still encounter a lot of prejudice from ill educated people. I wanted to do a post on autism in the hope of better educating people and if my words have an effect on just one person then it has been worth my time. Firstly let me share my qualifications which enable me to speak on this subject I have 2 autistic children one is 14 and one is 5 I have also worked in special needs settings over the years where a lot of the children were autistic. I feel that being the mum of autistic children makes me more qualified to talk about the subject than any doctor out there. I live with this condition daily and have done for the last 14 and a half years I have experience in this subject that you wont find in any text book or medical journal. Let me start by giving you a brief explanation of what exactly autism is.

Autism is a social communication disorder which affects the sufferers ability to communicate effectively with the people around them. It also affects the way in which the sufferer see's the world and interprets things. It causes strange behavior patterns and irrational fears in the sufferer. To give us a rough idea of how affected our child is doctors will conduct something called a 3DI interview (may be under a different name in the US). We are asked 100 different questions over the space of 2 hours and have to choose a multiple choice answer. Based on the answers given you are awarded a score and this tells you where roughly your child falls on the spectrum. Now 2 children may fall around the same place on the spectrum but I assure you no 2 autistic children are the same. They each have their own individual rituals and personalities if you are willing to put the time and the patience in to get to know them.

The main thing I wish to talk about today is the behavior problems the sufferer goes through and the stress on the parent dealing with the behavior. Autistic children are prone to both physical and emotional outbursts this can be anywhere at any time at home or out in public. They do not understand social rules and therefore don't understand the impact there behavior can have on others around them. Many a time I have had to tackle my son to the ground and restrain him in a busy shopping center. Not easy with everyone staring and making ignorant judgments that he is just a tearaway and if he were their son they would give him a good smack (and yes I have actually had this said to me). Brad has been called all the names under the sun, he has been mugged, he has been threatened by adults people who should know better, he has been exposed at, and has been physically challenged all of which does nothing to help his behavior and it is the parent who is left to pick up the pieces.

The slightest little thing can trigger an outburst but I have found that the worst outbursts have come from other peoples reactions to him. He hates being different to everyone else he has said things such as can I have a brain transplant, I wish I was dead, get a gun and kill me, I am going to kill myself. To hear these things as his mother breaks my heart but it also makes me very very angry that someone who is obviously an ill educated bigot could have this effect on my beautiful boy who can not help the way he is, who did not ask for this condition, and who has so much to contend with in his life already without the nasty comments and judgement from others.

I guess what I am really trying to say is the next time you see a child misbehaving in public rather than making a snap judgement ask yourself could that child have a hidden disability. Ask the parent if there is anything you can do to help such as watching the other children or holding her bags while she calms the other child down. Believe me when I tell you we would appreciate this a lot more than nasty words and evil looks.

Just food for thought

My Autistic Angels

Much Love
Claire xx xx xx