When things go from bad to worse

Just recently I have noticed a change in the boys behaviour it started slowly untill I woke up one day to what can only be described as pandemonium. The house had been trashed and all I could hear was fighting and crying this is what I have woken upto every morning for the last few weeks now. It has really taken its toll on my health and my depression has begun to rear its ugly head again. I dont know if I have spoken about my depression before so I will give you a quick over view. I have suffered from clinical depression for almost 14 years now it started after the birth of my first son and has never really gone away since. A lot of the time it is managable with the help of anti depressants but some times when my stress levels are increased it starts to kick in again. I become increasingly tired, have a major lack of energy, become tearfull at the slightest little thing, and just want to run away and hide from everyone and everything. This is how ive been feeling over the last few weeks untill last night I hit a major melt down which culminated in a major panic attack. Panic attacks can be extremely frightening and can even make you feel like you are dying. In a desperate bid to end this feeling of hopelessness I searched the internet trying to find an online programe that may help me regain control again. I found a programe run by someone called Alexandra Massey unlike most programmes designed to beat depression this one has been designed by someone who suffered from depression herself and was able to beat it. It cost me £9.99 to join the programme but the way I see it is if it works and helps me regain control then its a small price to pay. I worked my way through the first 2 chapters of the programme last night and have woken this morning feeling much more positive and like I can beat this and find myself again. I called a house meeting with the boys and explained how their behaviour towards me, the house, and each other has been making me feel and that it needs to stop NOW. I set out a set of house rules and consequences if these rules are broken although they got very upset initialy they agreed that their behaviour had become unacceptable and that the new rules and consequences were fair. So we have spent the last 2 hours tidying up all the mess they have made and I have to say they did a great job I just hope that they continue to realise the importance of respecting their home and each other as it will surely make things easier for me and make my recovery that much easier. Today will be spent working as a team to get back on top of everything in the house and hopefully there will be a little time left over so we can do something together to help us reconnect as a family and remind us why we love each other as much as we do.
Much Love
Claire xx xx xx

Love Loo Loo

Love LooLoo is a quaint little shop situated in an old round wool drying mill built around the 18th Century.  Inside you will recieve a warm welcome and be surprised to find many, many beautiful little treasures and gifts.  A lot of our items are hand made by Laura and our bargeware is hand painted by a cute eighty two year old lady!
We stock plenty of greetings cards and wrapping paper as well in designs you will not find elsewhere in the town.
We have kept our prices low, in many cases it is cheaper to buy some of our products in our shop that it you could find online!  So don't be surprised to walk away with gift wrap, a card and a wonderfully unique gift for less than ten pounds!

Much Love

Claire xx xx xx

Dr Who Experience

Well a lot has been happening this last week I have been able to get back to my volunteer work which has been great. I find it helps me knowing that I am helping others and I also get to meet some great people along the way.

Over the weekend we went down to London and spent some time with the family. We also went to the Dr Who experience as a birthday treat for Ben he turned 8 on wednesday. It was a lovely weekend and Ben and I really enjoyed the experience. We also had a small family get together for him which was nice for him to see all the family together as it rarely happens. I managed to get discounted train tickets by making a few extra changes and taking a longer route it cost £45 for me, Ben, Brandon return from Westbury to London. I also got a discounted family ticket to the experience from lastminute.com this cost £32 as apposed to £62 on the door a great saving im sure you would agree.

As you can see from the pictures we had a great time. I do have a couple of professional pictures of Ben super imposed into the tardis and sitting in a rather scary looking chair from the tv series but will have to scan those in at some point.

I am hoping to make up a batch of washing gloop and do a little baking this week so will take some pictures as and when this happens.

Much Love

Claire

xx xx xx

Been a long time

Well its been a long time since my last post I have been ill with my MD not so much dizzy more exhausted all the time and my sleep pattern is all over the place again. The tinitus in my ears is deafening and giving me some major headaches which I think is contributing to the tiredness I am feeling. I have been taking pictures of some of the things we have been upto when I have been well enough. We had a quiet xmas and new year at home this year I just felt to ill to go to London and to be honest it was a good job we did not as I spent most of the festive period sleeping and resting. I did of course make sure the boys had a good xmas day present opening first thing then the boys played with their new toys while mummy had 40 winks then it was up again and doing xmas dinner and laying out the table followed by an early night for us all. Sure hope I start feeling a bit better soon so I can get back to my writting and vounteer work im really missing it. For now here is an up date in pictures of what we have been doing.

                                             We made some yummy chocolate xmas cakes

Dad came down for a few days

A street fair came to our village

We met santa and his raindeer

We saw some little shetland ponies

We managed to get some half decent pictures of Kindy our rabbit

Ben got glasses

Xmas morning (appologies for the blurry pics)

                                              The boys cuddled up watching xmas movies

                               Boxing day when my family came up from London for the day

My nieces who came down with their mummy for a few days last week so we went out to dinner

Sure hope that everyone else had a lovely xmas and new year.
Much Love
Claire
xx xx xx